A good Realtor® is sort of like your own personal Yoda—someone you can trustwith your most pressing questions and biggest decisions, guiding you safely toward your destiny (of a brand new home!).
But how do you choose the right Realtor when there are literally hundreds of options in your area?
“They say in California the difference between a driver’s license and a real estate license is that not everyone in California has adriver’s license,” saysTim Freund, an agent and broker in Westlake Village, CA. The joke rings true in other states as well.
With so many options, why not go with a known commodity? Like, for example, afriend or family member—someone who not onlyknows you, but has a license and is thus perfectly qualified to help you buy your dream home.Sounds like a dream scenario, right?
The answer is usually “no way” for a host of reasons (except in a few rare cases). And don’t feel guilty about not sending business their way—recommend them to someone else!
Heed the following expert advice about why you should be wary of mixing business with friendship:
The pitfalls
While your personal relationship might seem like an important qualification, if your Realtor doesn’t have the other key attributes you need, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Experience with and understanding of the area where you’re hoping to move, rave reviews from previous clients, and the ability to assess your situation dispassionately are absolutely essential.
“Real estate often brings out the worst in people. It’s very stressful,” Freund says. “It’s a big and expensive life decision.Sometimes you just need the assistance of someone who doesn’t have a personal relationship with you.”
And, if the home-buying process isn’t going well, you need to be able to fire that person,Freund says.Better to tell your friend you can’t hire them rightoff the bat than risk canningthem—an act almost guaranteed to ruin your relationship.
And your relationship will definitely be in jeopardy if you have trouble relinquishing control. Your agent will likely need to hold the reins—after all, they’re in a better position toquickly find you an amazing space.
“If you get two controlling people, there’s going to be problems,” Freund says. “You have to be able to find someone whose personality will mesh with yours.”
How to ease the sting
Still feel like you need to extend the offer to your “frealtor“? (Yes, we just made that a word.)
If they’re local but you’re not confident because of their experience level, Freund suggests asking them to co-list with someone from their office—giving them valuable experience during the buying process.That way,they feel involved and you still receive expert guidance.
And if they’re out of the area but still want to help, Freundrecommends arranging for them to receive a referral fee from the agent you choose, and leaning on them for advice and commiseration during the process.
“That’s a nice thing to do, and you always have them in your hip pocket to rely on if the Realtor you thought was great turns out not to be,” he says.
When to say yes
OK, but maybe your friendhas tons of experience, issuper-familiar with all your favorite ‘hoods, and your personalities meld perfectly.If you’re 100% comfortableentering a business relationship with them, go for it!
A good agentwho isalso a good friend “is going to work harder for you than any other agent you can hire,” Freund says. ”
Not only will they work hard, but they maybe better able to understand your specific needs. For example, if they’veseen the mess your children make in the living room, theyprobably won’t encourage you to temper your playroom dreams. And, since they know your preferences, they might just spot an oddball house you wouldn’t have considered otherwise—which may turn out to be perfect.
Bottom line—as Freund puts it: “A real friendwants to doright by you.”
